An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain.
Adios Omegas.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
I went to Spain to attend the Running of the Bulls, but when I arrived, there was nothing there but cows with fake horns attached.
I was in shambles.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
What do you call a hangover when you're alone in Spain?
Barf-a-lona.
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
Recently, i started learning Spanish
But i can't hola long conversation.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
I asked my Spanish girlfriend to make a to-do list
so she wrote down everything.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
You heard about the Spanish woman that is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?
No tres-passing.
What do you call a sneezing big foot in Spanish?
Achoopacabra.
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
I visited Spain and couldn't stop looking at the architecture
It was very Moorish.
Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.”
She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?”
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.