Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
Can I be Candide with you?
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
I asked my Italian grandfather if the rougher parts of Italy were called the spaghetto.
His look was pasty.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
French, French Revolution
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
It’s a beautiful Degas!
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
French people give me the crepes.
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!