What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
“Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.”
I'm snow bored.
Resting Grinch face.
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Snow on and snow forth.
“Remember: don’t eat the yellow snow.”
You snow the drill.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
Birch, please.
“Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter? Her name is Mary Christmas.”
But wait—there’s myrrh.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
It’s snow joke.
“You’re my soul Santa.”
Yule be sorry.
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
Up to snow good.
What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
“If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
You snow the drill.
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
How does santa get his Reindeer to fly? He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings!
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
Fir sure.
I’ll never fir-get.
“Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
The Christmas alphabet has noel.
Sleigh, what?!
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
Snow on and snow forth.
Time to spruce things up.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
I'm snow bored.
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
What is Santa's favorite breakfast food? Snow-flakes.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet? It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS.
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
Icy what you did there.
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
Treat yo'elf.
Rebel without a Claus.
He’s an elf-made man.
I only have ice for you.