What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
What did the copy machine say when it spilled it’s skincare?
"Oh no, that was my toner"
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What do you call a little tune about atmospheric moisture?
A humi-ditty.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
What's more important, shampoo or conditioner?
Is it the foamer or the lather?
I have no idea what I'm doing with eyeliner
To be honest, I just wing it.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
Why are sponges such good listeners?
Because they soak up everything.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
Why don’t Satanic boats ever sink?
Because they’re Unholy.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
Lord of the Wrings.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead?
She needed to makeup her mind!
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
What do you call spooky mascara
Mascarea.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!