Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?
It's pretty in tents.
What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?
Hygiene!
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Why didn't the lemon juice like the soap?
Because he was basic.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
Why can’t a tile walk very well?
He has square feet.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
I wanted to redo the flooring in my bathroom, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
Why do volcanoes need lotion?
So they dont get ashy.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
If your hair is long enough when shampooing...
Does Head & Shoulders then become Knees & Toes?
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
My wife asked me to help her apply mascara...
It was an eye-opening experience.