I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
Moisturiser is good for your skin...
Let that sink in.
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison?...
You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
I got this new chapstick today...
It's the balm!
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
What do you call a guy that has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
Lord of the Wrings.
Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,
so they installed a padlock.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
My wife misplaced some of her makeup...
She said, "I can't find my concealer".
And I said, "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then!"
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?
It's pretty in tents.