There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,
so they installed a padlock.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
I went to the hardware store and told the cashier I had to replace the plumbing for my sink. "Water pipes?" She asked.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
What do you call an East-European cosmetic?
Nail Polish.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
My dad was fixing the basin in the bathroom and accidentally broke some tiles.
My mother said, "I told you that method would be fewtile".
My job installed this new faucet.
I'm really faucinated by it.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
Lord of the Wrings.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
A kitchen sink that treats you right?
That's a Farrah Fawcett.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
What did the showerhead say to the conditioner?
"Get outta hair!"
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
Why are sponges such good listeners?
Because they soak up everything.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.