What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
Slightly disappointed that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders" have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody”
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination.
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
[removed]
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
What do you call a basin full of denim?
A gene pool!
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
What do you call two beautiful cat that sit together in the basin?
Purrfectly in sink.
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.
It’ll be called “Many Cures and Manicures”.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,
so they installed a padlock.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.