Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
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What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Cause they dumbbell dry.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
I have no idea what I'm doing with eyeliner
To be honest, I just wing it.
Have you ever seen a girl done makeup while camping?
It's pretty in tents.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.
It's just something they tend to get hung up on.
How do sponges talk to the devil?
They use a squeegee board.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
When does makeup run?
When you mascare it off.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
I always start my day with makeup. It's the foundation for a good day, y'know? It covers up anything from yesterday and really sets things in place so I can powder through my work.
Noticed the ladies' restroom door was missing the 'W'.
Told my daughter that sign was a bad omen
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.