I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!