What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.