Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.