What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!