Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.