I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."