I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.