Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C