I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!