Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.