Stone Jokes

What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
Let Him Without Sin... Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let him who has no sin cast the first stone." The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman. Jesus sighs and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
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