Car Jokes

What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Car Salesman: And if you don't like this color, we have another one in "Boulder Gray"
Me: Gray isn't very bold to begin with, how did you make it bolder?
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
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