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Rather Jokes

Password Puns
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

(Gelett Burgess)
Irish Puns
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Sports Pick Up Lines
What are you doing this saturday? I've got a football match, but I'd rather score with you
Christian Pick Up Lines
I like milk and cookies but I would rather have you.
Garden Puns
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Medieval Puns
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Food Quotes
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
Funny Break Up Lines
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Funny Work Quotes
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
Lightning Puns
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
Yoga Pick Up Lines
I'm doing yoga tonight but I rather be doing you.
Friendship Quotes
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
Crow Puns
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.