The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!