What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!