What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.