You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.