Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Having a ball
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
All punts are highly intended
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
We’re calling your number.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Calm before the score
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Give me some pigskin
I feel tail great!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.