[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Join us for plenty of play action.
All punts are highly intended
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
We’re calling your number.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Football is one habit I will never kick
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
We’ll have a ball.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Having a ball
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner