When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.