What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?