Thoughts Jokes

If you gave me a penny for my thoughts Iโ€™d have just one penny, because i only think about one thing and thatโ€™s you.
You octopi my thoughts.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
When I go out to dinner,
I do not want to share.
I donโ€™t care what is on your plate;
I donโ€™t want to compare.

I scan the menu up and down
And then make my selection.
When it arrives, itโ€™s meant for me
And not for your inspection.

โ€œYou want to taste my fish?โ€ Iโ€™m asked.
Some people never learn;
For then the expectation is
To taste mine in return.

And so the answerโ€™s always No!
Yet comments never cease.
โ€œYour fries look really good!โ€ They are,
So let me eat in peace!

Each morsel on my dish is mine
And I intend to finish.
Perhaps my attitude will make
Your thoughts of me diminish.

Iโ€™m sorry if that is the case โ€“
Dessert Iโ€™ll split just fine;
But when the mealโ€™s delivered โ€“
You eat yours and Iโ€™ll eat mine!

(Ilene Bauer)
I wish you something, just canโ€™t remember,
Donโ€™t be upset, youโ€™re my family member.
It was clearly, on my mind,
With so many thoughts, itโ€™s hard to find.

Visions appear of colorful balloons,
In the background I hear those fine tunes.
Near the end of the dream, I can taste a delicious cake,
It must be your birthday, as I awake.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Hey, can I borrow your water filter? Cause youโ€™ve got me thinking impure thoughts.
My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.
She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.
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