Swear

I've done it -- I've done mown the lawn,
But my muscles are aching and torn.
I could swear there are some,
In my legs and my bum,
I've not used since the year I was born.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Judge: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Me: No.

Judge: *(covers mic)* What do I do?