Plants

What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck
When I'm old and mankey.
I'll never use a hanky.
I'll wee on plants.
and soil my pants!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Did you know it's illegal to water your plants in China ?
It causes the microphones to rust.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.