Plants Jokes

Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
What do you call it when worms eat all of the plants and take over the world?
Global Worming.
Have you botany plants lately?
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Ants in your plants.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
"Real gardeners buy at least ten thousand plants in the course of a lifetime without having the least idea where they'll put any of them when they get home."
— Anonymous
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
“If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.”
— J.C. Raulston
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedburg
"When I asked you to water the plants,
I did not expect you'd unzip your pants."
- Mike Garofalo
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins
"I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide."
- Jerry Seinfeld
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