Plants

What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
When I'm old and mankey.
I'll never use a hanky.
I'll wee on plants.
and soil my pants!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Did you know it's illegal to water your plants in China ?
It causes the microphones to rust.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck