Mattress Jokes

Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
Nothing really mattress.
Yo Mama's so ugly her memory foam mattress wishes it could forget.
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
Bob Monkhouse

“It’s been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it’s trying to blackmail me.”
I'm a gymnast, so if you're down for some mattress yoga, count me in!
Wanna partner up so we can test the spring potential of my bed mattress?
The ham's on your pillow,
The egg's in your sheet,
The bran muffin's rollin'
Down under your feet,
There's milk in the mattress,
And juice on the spread -
Well, you said that you wanted
Your breakfast in bed.

(Shel Silverstein)
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