Dick

The Same Tattoo
The Same Tattoo A white guy goes to Jamaica on vacation. On his first day there he goes to a bar. After a few drinks, he goes to the bathroom. As he pees, behind him enters a Jamaican man who walks up next to him and begins to relieve himself as well. The white guy glances unintentionally and notices the Jamaican man has a penis tattoo. Surprised he claims, “hey! I have the SAME penis tattoo as you! Starts with a W and ends with a Y.” The White guy happily shows his tattoo and says “Look, I got ‘Wendy’, for my wife” The Jamaican laughs and replies “Nah mon, they aren’t the same, mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day’!"
There once was a fella named Rick
Who started to date this hot chick
But brief was romance
For tucked in her pants
was a much larger dick.
there once was a man from leeds
who ate a packet of seeds
within the hour
his dick was a flour
and his balls were all covered in weeds.
There once was a guy named Swartz,
whose dick was covered with warts,
but the girls would play,
with his dick anyway,
'cause good ol' Swartz came in quarts!
Hey, have you met my friend Dick? He is real tall.
Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, 'cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts.
My girlfriend keeps saying that a small dick is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she hadn't got one.
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl.
"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!"
"Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.
What do you call a dick pick when it’s printed out?
A hard copy.
Boyfriend: Just because you have your period doesn’t mean you can be so mean.
Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you can be one.
Man: What do math and my dick have in common? They're both hard for you
Woman: You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.