Acid

When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Do you know what it's called when you see the sun, the moon and the stars all at the same time?
Really good acid.
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
What do you call a serial killer on acid?
Jack the tripper.