What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
You can stop running after your dreams. I am right here.
Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?
The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound.
He said, "He can't have my nose, I need it!"
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
You’re a woman from East Transylvania
Dating Dracula, with his weird mania.
He asks you each night
To go out for a bite —
An experience certain to drain ya.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
If there were no God, there would be no atheists. -- G. K. Chesterton
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
“Surely Sylvia swims!” shrieked Sammy surprised. “Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink.”
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
You’re a perfect ten(t).
You and I make a deluxe combo.
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Long time no sea.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hoo.
Hoo who?
Are you an owl?
Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.
“I got chucked out of yoga class after misinterpreting Half-Moon Pose.” – Unknown
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
“Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.”
- Julia Roberts.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
"Check, mate."
"Checkmate."
"Hey! Can I get the check, mate?!?"
I fence-y you.
I think there’s something wrong with my eye. I can’t take them off of you.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Go to BabaMail
