What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
Are your highways? Because I want a long drive on you.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
On Halloween night I will strut
Dressed like Jabba the Hut
Many sweets I will eat
As it is trick or treat
And double the size of my butt
I love the way you look at me,
The sharpness of your gaze.
The way I hold you my arms,
You keep me in a haze.
I love the scent you bring with you, when you come into my home.
You bring me so much happiness,
I can’t leave you alone.
You pale them in comparison,
The rest cannot do better.
You are my favorite in the world,
I love you so much, Cheddar.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
An art dealer and a painter are having a conversation.
Art Dealer: "I have good news and bad news. Good news is, a person came up to me this afternoon to ask about the value of your art. When I told him that it would increase in value after your death, he immediately bought ALL of them."
Painter: "Wow! What's the bad news?"
Art Dealer: "He was your doctor."
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places."
— Mark Twain
The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the fresh prints.
Now I know why there's no snow - you're so hot!
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
I fence-y you.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
I can get you off the Naughty List.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
I went to an Easter party as a Jesus cosplayer
I told them I was a crossplayer.
Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
If it was 1984, and I was Big Brother, I'd only watch you.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Go to BabaMail
