You're not just some bunny... you're my bunny.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
"You have no reason to fear zombies, do you?"
Anonymous
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
You’re so beautiful, you make me feel like an arpeggiated chord… broken.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
World is vast and wide.
So much out there to explore.
Right now, let's eat lunch.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
Stuart Turner“
“I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella.”
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
Are you a flower? Because I fell in love with you once and floral.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
Are you the square root of -100? Because you’re a solid 10 but too good to be real!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
What happened when the pun misbehaved in school?
He was pun-alized with detention!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
- James Baldwin.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Wow, you feel like a comet, you are a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’m glad I didn’t miss it. Can I buy you a drink?
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
"Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish."
Anonymous
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
When his driving had gotten bizarre
Grandpa’s kids tossed his keys very far
So he hitched into town
Laid some good money down
And then simply brought home a new car.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Have you read the book about hands? It’s a real page turner.
Hi, I'm the Easter Bunny and I don't care if you are naughty or nice!
You’re my lucky charm.
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