What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Tricks aren’t really my thing. But you’re sure a treat.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend but he kept asking her for another shot.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
You don't know jack-o-lantern
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
99.9% of people are idiots.
Fortunately, I belong to the 1%.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." – Clarence Day
"Motherhood – when 90% of your time is spent putting other people’s crap away." — Anonymous
“Sometimes I would like to be a child again, and other times a woman made of snow.”
– Deirdre Sullivan
I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
An oyster from Kalamazoo
Confessed he was feeling quite blue.
For he said, "As a rule,
When the weather turns cool,
I invariably get in a stew."
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
My ex-husband was very responsible. If anything went wrong, he was usually responsible for it.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
“I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colber
Honey, are you a drummer? Because you can make my heart skip a beat.
Normally my species is cold blooded, but around you I am hot blooded.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Go to BabaMail
