What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
(give a dozen plastic roses) "I'll stop loving you, when these roses die.
What's taken before you get it? Your picture.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Is your name Houston? Because you seem to be guiding my rover.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Who was Shakespeare's reptilian cousin?
Snakespeare
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Hey, are you Oscar? Because I really want to win you...
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
What a spud muffin.
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
"Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!"
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
I get a real kick out of you.
I would hug you after a Bikram Yoga class
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
Whoa, Domi-nice pics you got there
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
A mean crook going down stairs = A condescending con, descending
I just held a huge Thor party for my son's 5th birthday.
He got overwhelmed because I guess he wanted something a little more Loki.
I’ll never fir-get.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Something’s goat to give.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
“A Whole Lot Of Love.”
You remind me of my last biking accident. Because I am going head over heels for you.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Babe, it doesn’t matter that you got diabetic retinopathy, because I heard love is blind.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
Hey, do you wanna hear my text tone? Just message me and you’ll see how great it is.
Go to BabaMail
