What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
“I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.”
Unknown
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”
- Robert Fros
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
Pretty lady, I guess wishes do come true, seeing as a boy like me met a a girl like you.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
One more thyme.
"Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse."
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Preheat the oven of love
With plenty of secrets and hugs
Mix in giggles and laughs
That make your sides split in half
Bake with the love and care
And all the things you both should share
Decorate with the frosting of trust
This is really a must
Enjoy the cake do not eat it fast
Just like your new love make it last.
(Anonymous)
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.
"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."
Repeat this as many times as you get rejected until you get the number. Works like a charm.
During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, despite our numerous arguments.
It was a case of he shed, she shed.
Yoda one for me!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphreys
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
You’re pretty and I’m damn cute. If we’re together, we would be pretty cute.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Go to BabaMail
