What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
I have a personal rule to never eat chocolate alone.
Have you seen any linking verbs around here? Because you are my complement and I want to connect.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
My fridge is hotter than you.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
If we raced, I would let you win, so I could get a good view from the back.
Q: Patient: Doctor, sometimes I feel like I'm invisible.
A: Doctor: Who said that?
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
Lava is red and tsunamis are blue. If I had to choose a case study, I’d choose you.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
My love for you is like an marathon. It goes on and on.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
I broke up with my partner on our front stairs.
It was a stoop end to the situation.
You and the sun have one thing in common. You are both radiant.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
This special birthday wish may be late,
And it may not make you very wise,
But it's still good enough to send,
Because it won't strain your tired eyes.
It may not be the best birthday wish,
And it may not even be on time,
But I think it's better than nothing,
For no other reason than it rhymes.
(Kevin Nishmas)
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
When we met, it was love at frost sight.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Shoutout to my grandparents...
Because that's the only way they can hear me.
You must be a fossil because I would love to date you.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Eva.
Eva who?
Eva been asked out via knock knock joke before…?
Go to BabaMail
