Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
Girl, your really good at this catch and release thing. Every time I catch my breath around you, you make me lose it again.
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the turkey say after Thanksgiving dinner? I'm still stuffed.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Roses are red, Roses are blue
Depending on their velocity relative to you
You mermake me happy.
Will you Scarlett me take you out this weekend?
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
I went to a mansion but everyone had bad etiquette.
It was a Bad Manor.
Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
Whose lovers completely forsook her;
She ran up a tree,
And said, 'Fiddle-de-dee!'
Which embarassed the people of Lucca.
"Sip, sip hooray."
A man entered his house and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in his house.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
More candles means a bigger wish!
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Your sun salutation would get me to rise every morning.
"Parenting is basically just listening to yourself talk because nobody else is." - Unknown
“It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.” — Timothy Burke, “Friends”
What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
You’re unbeleafable.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a complete rip-off.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
It's half empty.
Were you a member of the Boy Scouts? You’ve tangled up my heart.
“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
– Albert Einstein
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
Go to BabaMail
