What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Of course your name is Amy. I can already tell you’re Amy-zing
I'm acorn-y person.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?
Nothing. You can cross a scalar and a vector.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
Flood lights.
What is a frog’s favorite drink on a hot summer day?
Croak-o-cola.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
Where do pianists go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
There once was a girl from Dubai,
who desperately wanted to fly.
But whenever she flapped,
that girl got so chapped,
that poor littl girl from Dubai.
Where does Snowy the snow man hide his money?
In a snow bank.
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
We’ve reached the pint of no return.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
“Look out for Santa Paws!”
Girl: "Babe I'm pregnant you're the father."
Guy: "Can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!"
Girl: "Haha! got me! You're not the father."
Thanksgiving is over… Want to watch Christmas movies and chill?
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Readers do it between the covers (or alternately, readers do it between the sheets).
“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” — Rodney Dangerfield
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Anne of Green Gables? More like Anne of Green Babeles.
“Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." – Clarence Day
Man: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
Go to BabaMail
