How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why did the baby chick cross the road?
It was a take-your-child-to-work day.
My son just said to me that he doesn't understand cloning.
I said, "That makes two of us".
Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison
He didn't even finish his sentence
Did my Spotify playlist glitch? Because you are the only song I hear.
You are hot to the core, aren’t you?
Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest!
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Pizza Love
Pizza, Please?
I Love All Pizza
Sausage ,Pepperoni, Or Cheese
Pizza Love
Its Forever
In My Heart
It Makes Life Better
Pizza Love
Pizza, Please?
I REALLY LIKE PIZZA
Sausage, Pepperoni, and Cheese.
(Camryn Noell)
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
Sir Norman Wisdom
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Variety is the ice of life.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
I'm so good at being interrogated.
I can do it blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
I am so dedicated to basketball, but I promise you I will bring that dedication to our relationship.
You’re my heartthrob.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Even though there's no ball game on tonight, we can still slam it.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.”
Samuel Goldwyn
What do you call a window that raps? 2PANEZ
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Go to BabaMail
