Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
Summer is my favorite sea-sun of the year.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Expand your mind. Get
To work. Better yet, put your
Feet up. Watch TV.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What's a doctor hope to gain from a urine test?
Whizdom
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
“Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’.” – Unknown
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.
Death.
Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together.
What did the mother airplane say to the child airplane when the child was acting rude?
"I've had it with your altitude"
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
When God made you, he was just showing off.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
"Do you like computers?" (yes.) "Do you like file sharing?" (yes) "Good, 'cause I'm downloadable and user friendly!"
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
I'm not a hipster, but I could make your hips stir.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
— Anonymous
Roses are red, violets are blue. I would really love to run away with you.
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
How do you get a man to have the best orgasm possible?
Who cares?
Go to BabaMail
