What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Let's Taco about love.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
I'd love to go up and down with you, fancy a hill rep session?
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
My friend said that he eats more than his brother.
I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What’s the best meal to eat in an igloo?
Brr-eakfast!
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fangs
Fangs who?
Fangs for letting me in!
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
There was an Old Man of Apulia,
Whose conduct was very peculiar
He fed twenty sons,
Upon nothing but buns,
That whimsical Man of Apulia.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I come in?
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
Steven Wright
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
I'm pine-ing for you.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
The scientist time travels between summer and winter using his autumn-mobile!
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
“Have leftover Eggo waffles from your Eleven Halloween costume? We’ll show you how to make it into Thanksgiving stuffing. After the break.” — John Mayer
It's a-boat time for a holiday!
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
One more thyme.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
What does the "B" stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot, the inventor of fractal geometry?
Benoit B. Mandelbrot
Go to BabaMail
