People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Talk literary to me.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Need a cart? No? How about a girlfriend?
Are you made of apples? Cause you sure look sweet as pie.
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
- Charles De Gaulle.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
Wanna go out sometime? I think we’d have Avery fun time together
After a tiring day at work, my wife drew me a relaxing bath. It wasn't very smart of me to ask if it was going to be in color or a sketch.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me young...
I could buy a lollipop.
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
If you were a flower, I would pick you.
I get a real kick out of you.
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
You make miso happy.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ike.
Ike who?
Ike can rock your world, baby.
Can you give me directions…to your heart?
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Are you a member of a Girl Scout? Girl: No. Boy: Then why you knew how to tie my heart into knots?
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Are you teh Easter Bunny? Because you’ve spent the entire day hopping around in my head.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What does the sun drink out of?
Sunglasses!
Why did the bunny go to the hospital?
Because he needed a hopperation.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
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