There once was a lad from West Philly
Who played basketball and got silly
He fought with some brothers
Which worried his mother
Now he's know as Bel Air's Fresh Prince, Willy
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Hey Girl are you my checked in luggage? 'Cause I’d wait an eternity for you at the airport.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
I don't think you can diagnose me because there's no treatment for being madly in love.
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I bet we could do some good interval training together.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
I often tell my niece to listen, because hearing is the first thing you lose with aging.
Or was it memory? I can't remember.
"Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes. Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face."
- Teresa Watkins
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A stamp.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
A pretty lady wasn't on my shopping list but I can be spontaneous.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
How do you get rid of a cold?
Turn the heating on.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
I wasted my time on a vasectomy.
All it seemed to do was change the color of the baby.
“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates
Do you wanna Ketchup over beer?
Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
Go to BabaMail
