Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Eva.
Eva who?
Eva been asked out via knock knock joke before…?
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Please Mr.Postman deliver to my heart.
"My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan." — Leopold Fetchner
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
I forgot my reusable bag, can I borrow one of yours?
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
In one Fall swoop, it's autumn again!
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
I’m like a boomerang. I just keep coming back to you.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Even the Chocolate factory doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
"I'm eggs-hausted."
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did one Frenchman say to the other?
I have no idea; I don’t speak French.
“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”
- Marshall McLuhan.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
Anonymous
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said, 'Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?
I only wanted a week's supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
What's a pun's best trait?
His pun-ctuality!
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
I need a new Halloween costume. I’m thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
“A best friend is someone who, when they don’t understand, they still understand."
— Nancy Werlin
After 30 years of marriage, I can both proudly and firmly declare that I still wear the pants in my family...
My wife just tells me which ones to wear.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
"You get two for the price of one when you are a Gemini."
— Karan Johar
Go to BabaMail
