What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
If you were a dynamically allocated variable in a C++ program, you'd create a leak. Because I'd never delete you from my life.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
There are 2 unwritten rules for a successful marriage.
1: . 2: .
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
“She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.”
– Richelle Mead
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
What is a frustrated mother’s favorite month?
I SAID NO-vember.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be in one of them?
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
Do you want some raisin? How about some jam to go with it.
I was wondering if you like science because I have had my ion you for some time.
Please Mr.Postman deliver to my heart.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Girl, are you fries? Because I would like you at my side.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
He’s an elf-made man.
If you must cross a course cross cow across a crowded cow crossing, cross the cross coarse cow across the crowded cow crossing carefully.
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
Are you a fermata? Because I want to hold you.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
I must stop eating Snickers
I can’t fit in my knickers
Have less food on my plate
Won’t moan about my weight
(Jan Allison)
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
I’ll open your heart like Nixon opened the door to China in ’72.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
Everyone teased the snowman for having a pointy nose, but he didn’t carrot all.
Go to BabaMail
