The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
A guy walks into a bar. He gets a drink and leaves.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
I send the best morning texts. But you’d know that already if I had your number.
I’m browsing the winter-net.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
“When asked about my hiking plan I answered “Let’s summit up”.”
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
You must be Portuguese because I could Lisbon to that accent all night long.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
It was mitten in the stars.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
“Sagittarians are not normally sentimental; however, they can get really attached to a favorite sweater that has seen better days.”
— Therrie Rosenvald
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it
Wouldn’t run.
I don’t have a controller,
And I don’t have a screen,
I don’t need to be plugged in,
I’m not grey and green.
I can’t make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You can’t put me on a shelf,
Because I’m not made of plastic.
However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You can’t insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.
(Sarah Allen)
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
I feel like we’re developing some good chemis-tree.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
“Fine! You guys can all be beautiful snowflakes! I’m gonna go over here and be an awkward snowflake!”
― Robyn Schneider
“I only go to yoga to drink wine, so I’m good. I just throw the calories right back in.” – Kaley Cuoco
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.
If we're going to make love later, you should probably be there.
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work.
They finally went with mine.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said.
"No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover more holes in our wall."
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I bet you’re really flexible.
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
Go to BabaMail
