what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
“The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.”
- Grant Tucker.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Practice safe text: use commas.
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
Wow, Charlotte, your name should definitely be Char-hot.
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing....
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
I can’t believe such a perfect match could Alexis-t
Why do bananas like to use sunscreen?
Because they peel!
My wife and I have 3 beautiful children...
And 3 out of 5 ain't bad.
Sorry, did you fart? You blow me away!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
If you come with me, I'll show you a hard day's night.
My deaf girlfriend just told me, “We need to talk.”
That is not a good sign.
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
How does a dual agent sleep?
Well, first he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
This morning I saw a beautiful flower, and thought of you.
What’s the freshest herb you can find in April?
Spring-thyme!
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and I thought to myself...
Wow, this is ledge ‘n dairy.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Busy buzzing bumble bees.
As I lay cozy, all snug in my bed,
I enjoy the imagination inside my head
Until I hear racket beside my bed.
It's my 5:00 alarm!
I quickly silent you, you annoying alarm.
Then we SNOOZE together and let dreams carry on.
Enjoying the peace, then I'll be darned;
It's my 5:15 reminder!
Now I hush the ringing of my reminder.
Ok Alarm, let's put that behind us.
Eyes just shut, but here goes that timer
It's 7:20. I'm late!!!
(By Demecia Dean)
Roses are red
violets are violet.
Here is my number
why don’t you dial it?
Go to BabaMail
