What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.
I'd love to go up and down with you, fancy a hill rep session?
"Motherhood – when 90% of your time is spent putting other people’s crap away." — Anonymous
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
You knead me in your loaf.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
You have been running through my mind all day.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Do you have any tape? Because I'm totally ripped.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
You’re right up my alley.
I don't want to be alone. Help me make it through the night.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
You're like an SSRI. It only makes sense when you are with me.
You remind me of a thunderstorm: positively striking.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a kiss if you open the door.
Here comes the sun of my life
Give me some pigskin
Water you doing, my friend?
We’ve made a jig mistake, don’t you a-green?
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I cannoli be happy
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
After Stalin died, he met the angel of death. The angel explained to Stalin he can only send him to hell but he lets him to choose which hell.
"Do you prefer to burn in a capitalist hell or a communist hell?" It asks him.
I choose the communist one because there will surely be a shortage of coal.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
I'm snow bored.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
Go to BabaMail
